This is a long, reflective read, and only about two or three people will probably read this, but maybe those two or three people will be significantly impacted and think about things in a different way. Let’s get into it:
“The secret of parenting is not in what a parent DOES but rather who the parent IS to a child. When a child seeks contact in closeness with us, we become empowered as a nurturer, a comforter, a guide, a model, a teacher, or a coach. For a child well attached to us we are her homebase from which to venture into the world, her retreat to fall back to, her fountain head of inspiration.
All the parenting SKILLS in the world cannot compensate for a lack of attachment relationship. All the LOVE in the world cannot get through without the psychological umbilical cord created by the child attachment.
The attachment relationship of child to parent needs to last at least as long as a child needs to be parented. That is what is becoming more difficult in today’s world. Parents haven’t changed, they haven’t become less competent or less devoted. The fundamental nature of children has also not changed — they haven’t become less dependent or more resistant. What HAS changed is the culture in which we are rearing our children. Children’s attachments to parents are no longer getting the support required from culture and society. Even parent child relationships that at the beginning are powerful and fully nurturing can become undermined as our children move out into a world that no longer appreciates or reinforces the attachment bond.
Children are increasingly forming attachments that compete with their parents, with the result that the proper context for parenting is less and less to us. It isn’t a lack of love or parenting, no, but the erosion of context that makes our parenting ineffective.
For the first time in history young people are turning for instruction, modeling, and guidance not to mothers, fathers, teachers, and other responsible adults but to people who nature never intended to place in a parenting role: their own peers. They are not manageable, teachable or maturing because they no longer take cues from adults. Instead, children are being brought up by amateur persons who cannot possibly guide them to maturity. They are being brought up by each other.
…In a world of increasing cultural turbulence, a consciousness of attachment is probably the most important knowledge a parent could possess.”
One of the most prevalent things that you hear about how to be successful when you have an online business is quantity and consistency. You not only have to have content at the ready at all times, but you have to deliver that content all the time.
I don’t think that the majority of people understand how energy and time consuming it is to try to have a platform of any kind, particularly if you are genuinely dedicated to personal development. There are huge sacrifices that content creators make in order to have that level of delivery, quantity, consistency. It comes at the price of their health, their potential to have healthy relationships, their relationships with their partners and children, their time to connect with themselves.
All for an algorithm and an audience that only really rewards content that is rooted in controversy, vitriol, and bad energy.
The requirements are huge, and the compensation is inadequate.
Not only that, but as soon as you’re gone, you are soon forgotten, no matter how much you gave from your heart.
All the work, time, sacrifices that you put in to creating the content are forgotten by the audience because they are looking for the next hit.
Realizing this, I had to make a decision for my life. I had to find a balance between wanting to help the 1000 women that I have a mission to help, and honoring my health, my family, and my life.
Sometimes you’ll see me on here. Other times you will not. If you do coaching with me currently or have in the past, you know how to find me. I’ll also be putting up new lessons and mini courses that are pre-recorded and automatically downloadable for those of you who would be interested.
My first responsibility is to myself and to cultivate these human beings that I created. They did not ask to be here, and I cannot sacrifice my attachment bond with them and put them at a deficit in this ever-changing world to be an online dopamine hit.
I will be held much more accountable for the people I created, the family I held together, and the fruit that came from them than from this platform. Whether that’s fair or not, it is what it is.
I want to sincerely wish a Happy Mother’s Day to the moms out there. It’s an incredible assignment, especially for those of us that are carrying it out with intention.
Hi there! I'm Nikki (aka Lady CRO), the creator and director of the Exceptional Woman School, where we work on cultivating the exceptional mindset that allows you to have TRUE confidence and the courage to create and sustain a great life.
The CRO stands for "Cultivating Relationships and Opportunities". I believe the cultivation of yourself, your relationship with others, and your life skills are what give you the ability to create a successful career, a happy and productive marriage, and joyful motherhood, if you so choose. That's what I focus on here.
I hope you enjoy the conversation, and that I'll see you in a class very soon!